Effective sentences and similes

Guy was a tall boy.

I took a simple sentence and extended it, then used a simile to finish it off!

With long legs and very big feet, Guy was a wiry boy. He was as tall as a giraffe.

 

Create a simple sentence and then improve  it using extended noun phrases. Then add  your simile if you can.  Mr L will add a clip art image later.

 

   

 

  

 

 

 

22 Comments

  1. Stanley was bored
    As lonely as the ugly duckling Stanley sat on an oak bench trying to make good friends.

    • Summer was bored.
      Unluckily Summer was bored .
      I met Summer unluckily she was bored.
      I met Summer she is a nice person unluckily she was bored.
      I met Summer she is a nice person unluckily she was bored as a bear.

  2. He was boring .

    He was the most boring person ever.

    I met my new brother but he was the most boring person ever.

    Last week , i met my new brother but he was the most boring person ever.

    Last week i was exited to meet my new brother but he was the most boring person ever.

  3. Rude Tom.

    As the bell rang rude Tom stumbled through the hall as loud as a herd of Elephant.

  4. he was funny.

    he was funny but no one laugh at him.

    he was want to came a funny boy.

    he want to work with jokers.

    • Mr L

      October 4, 2017 at 10:16 am

      Can you try and put these together into one effective sentence? I really like the second line but remember to use capital letters at start of sentence.

      he was funny but no one laugh at him.

  5. Mr o Sullivan went to the shop.

    Mr o Sullivan went to the shop to buy some cookies.

    Mr o Sullivan, who was very hungry, went to the shop to buy some cookies.

    I bumped into Mr o Sullivan, who was very hungry, going to the shop to buy some cookies.

    I bumped into Mr o Sullivan, who was very hungry, (as hungry as a lion probably!) going to the shop to buy some cookies.

    • Tibbles the dog was hungry.

      Tibbles the dog was as hungry as an elephant.

      Tibbles the dog, who was very nice, was as hungry as an elephant.

      Me and Danny really like Tibbles the dog, who was very nice, he was as hungry as an elephant.

      Me and Danny really like Tibbles the little dog, who was very nice, he was as hungry as an elephant (possibly even more hungry!)

    • Good work Danny i like how you bumped into Mr o’sullivan. Next time you could maybe change what he byes.

  6. He went home.

    He was bored so he went home.

    He got bored of his friends so he went home.

    He got bored of playing football with his friends so he went home.

  7. HE went in aeroplane.

    HE was in the aeroplane.

    HE was sick and hungry his name is eti.

    He was playing in his tablate.

  8. Ed loved space.

    Ed loved space because it was interesting.

    Ed wanted to go to space because he found it interesting.

    Ed went to space on his birthday because he loved it .

    Space meant the world to Ed because it was the most interesting thing.

  9. The fat pig.

    The enormous fat pig.

    The mean enormous fat pig.

    The dumb mean enormous fat pig.

    The dumb mean enormous fat, pig was as fat as a pillow.

  10. He was on the beach.

    he was playing with his dog on the beach.

    He want to go in to the water.

    he was playing with water.

    Then is the big wave and the boy is died.

  11. The mini man.
    The 20 year old mini man.
    The awesome 20 year old mini man.
    At the airport an awesome 20 year old mini man.
    At the airport an awesome 20 year old mini man as small as an ant.

  12. The station was busy.

    The station was as busy as Waterloo at rush hour.

    The humongous station was as busy as Waterloo at rush hour.

    The humongous station, that was in the middle of a city center, was as busy as Waterloo at rush hour.

    The humongous station, that was in the middle of a city center, was as busy as Waterloo at rush hour, possibly even busier!

  13. He was ugly.

    He was as ugly as Mr twit.

    He was funny but as ugly as Mr twit.

    The comical boy was as ugly as Mr twit.

  14. Hello everyone,

    I was working on a few similes last week for the book I’m currently writing. Here are two of my favourites:

    I started with a simple sentence: ‘Goody Gumdrops usually had a big smile, but today she was frowning.’

    Then I thought … if the character’s name is Goody Gumdrops, that remind me of sweets. Maybe I can add a simile to compare her face to sweets.

    In the end I added two similes using ‘like’ and ‘as’. Here’s my improved sentence:

    ‘Goody Gumdrops usually had a smile that bounced around like jelly, but today her face was as tough as a hard boiled sweet.’

    Another simple sentence I wrote: ‘Her eyes were dark and dangerous.’

    This sentence is helping to introduce the baddie in my book, who comes from outer space. I decided to add a spacey simile to the sentence to make my baddie seem extra evil. Here it is:

    ‘Her eyes were dark and dangerous, like two black holes sucking you in.’

    Good luck creating your similes. Try to make them as fun as possible. I look forward to reading them!

    Luke Temple

  15. This is a fun idea! Ok, here goes…

    Laura was grumpy.

    Laura the camel was grumpy.

    Laura the camel had the hump. She was as grumpy as a human child on a school day morning.

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